I don’t usually use bad language and never write it but sometimes for artistic integrity you have to indicate what was said.

 A true story:

A couple of weeks ago I decided to wait for a bus home as I had already walked about ten kilometres that day, and thought I could do with a little rest.  I didn’t deem it to be a particularly dangerous activity as there were few people in the queue.  In fact, only two of us.  And two buses waiting to start.  Or so we thought. 

I sat myself down on the little old people’s bench and watched as my fellow queuee tapped on the window to try and find out by sign language how long it would be before we could set off. A fairly normal activity, I would have thought, though possibly a wee bit annoying for the driver. 

Only a wee bit, mind, but not so for this particular driver.  He looked his interlocutor in the eye and then promptly blanked him.  My fellow passenger, however, was having none of it, and tried again.  Was ignored again.  He walked away, fulminating loudly, shouting, “What an arsehole!” over and over again.  He tried to involve me,  but I just smiled enigmatically.  I think he may have been a little drunk,  but who knows.  Anyway, after a longish wait and the advent of some more hopeful elderly travellers, we were all allowed on the bus.

We hauled ourselves on, chose seats as far away from everyone else as we could. My  impatient companion  went to the front having decided that honesty was the best policy, and that the driver needed to be told exactly what this particular freedom pass holder thought of him.  (We didn’t have to pay, as it happened, but I am sure he had one).

Well, the driver was not a happy creature.  He blew up, shouting at the man, saying he was not going to be abused by members of the public  (we all looked down at this point) and threatened to call the police if my “friend” did not get off the bus.  He refused.  The driver apologised to all of us and said that we would not be moving till the police came.  He still sat there.  So did the rest of us.

 After about ten minutes some of the oldies began to get off as they could see this bus was going nowhere. I wanted to stay and see if the police really would come.  But then another bus tootled along and everyone slowly climbed aboard..  Including the original insulter and me.  The driver and the police were not to be seen anywhere!   A very silly situation indeed!