Cleanliness is next to godliness. I am usually clean, I think. Am I godly? I don’t know. But this morning I had difficulty being either. I woke up this morning almost unable to get up because of the pain in my knee. I had spent most of the night in agony, imagining the consequences of the pain. By the time I had recovered from a whole leg amputation it was the early hours of the morning and I mercifully slept a bit. But when the time came to get up, I couldn’t. It took me ages to work out which foot to put down first and how to stand up.

Morning and groaning I eventually managed it and hobbled to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror for a while. Contemplating how I could have a shower or a bath.

Impossible. There was no way I could manoeuvre myself in or out. The pain was excruciating without my bending my knee. So I decided to have what used to be known when I was at boarding school a flannel bath. I couldn’t wash my hair but the rest of me would see some soap and water.

And as I sponged myself down . I remembered the large lavabo we had in St Augustine’s. The I will wash. This use of the word still makes me giggle.

The room was in the attic and divided off into eight large cubicles. We had one each I think. A little shelf got our toiletries. A small mirror. A curtain for our modesty. When my mother first brought me to the school she was appalled we could only have one bath a week. She insisted I had one every day, for which she had to pay one and six extra every week.

I had to have my bath straight after school and just before tea time. Twenty minutes. And I wasn’t allowed to wash my hair! The first year I was there one of the nuns tried to give me a shift to wear in the bath so as not to offend God with my nakedness. But somehow. Although I was generally very obedient, I managed to ignore that advice.

Later on I learned that the nuns themselves still lived under a seventeenth century rule and were only allowed to bathe once every three months! You can imagine!

So today all this came back to me as I realised I have been using the same deodorant Mum Rollette since 1964!

I went to the chiropractor who worked wonders on my knee, including acupuncture, so you will be pleased to hear that I am in no danger of amputation. Must do my exercises though.